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Heart First

by Justina Shandler

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1.
Tour 02:47
Can we start over by the wreckage your last love left you?  Can you guide me through life lessons from the first woman who loved you?  I know you need to stop to think Your mind is such a private thing  You couldn't look when you let me in But here I am  So give me a tour from your head to your heart I wanna explore, I've come to love every part I wanna know more Can I follow you through all the questions that you ponder? Can you take me to the rug where you swept all your monsters? I will look but I won't touch  Nothing here is too much Thank you for choosing me There's so much to see  On this tour from your head to your heart I wanna explore, I've come to love every part I wanna know more It's so beautiful here You’re so beautiful Give me a tour from your head to your heart I wanna explore, though I've come to love every part I wanna know more
2.
I've been jumping out of planes since I was three Nothing to cover or protect me Nothing in the way of the fall Risking it all To feel the breeze Heart first, dive in Never one for smooth landings Never wondered why until now Cause I see you I don't wanna blink and miss it I just wanna stay in it And keep it safe I'm falling deep, I'm falling fast You're falling slow And I don't know what to do Soon enough we'll both end up on solid ground But as for now Is your parachute big enough for two? Cause I don't wanna fall so hard for you You were born right into the drivers seat Never follow, always lead And I’ve always thought you were smart Protecting your heart But it makes me wanna scream And you even dream with your helmet on Maybe my approach is wrong, but I gotta be free Chorus I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna fall so hard
3.
It Gets Old 04:39
Actually, it’s not so bad Aside from the numbness you’ve always had You couldn’t tell, ‘cause you were blind But I watched your heart break a thousand times Now you’re someplace new, but those bad habits stayed So you naturally try to get loved or get laid But it gets old so fast You tie your past to a tree So it can’t bother you So it can’t make you see It gets old Halloween, your favorite day You can wear your mask now, it’s okay Some rowdy guys invite you in They’ll stay with you ‘cause you’re showing skin You know you’re about to forget the whole night And you’re toasting to friendship just to be polite But it gets old so fast Swallow the last of your drink So it won’t bother you So you don’t have to think It gets old Any day now, you’ll find a way out Actually, it’s not that bad at all When you ignore the floor when you fall With your face down, you gasp for air Then you realize nobody really cares It all gets old so fast You tie your past to a tree So it can’t bother you, so… It gets old so fast You tie your past to a tree So it can’t bother you So it can let you be It gets old
4.
Green With 03:26
She comes right in Without even knocking on the door She comes right in and makes herself at home I play keep away, if she gets to me Who knows what I’ll be- come right in, uninvited She’s everywhere Making noise at night so I can’t sleep She doesn’t care That I want her to leave She puts me down And down and down until I’m face first on rock bottom Then sticks around, uninvited  When she is on my mind, her power grows I can’t see through my own eyes, and she knows My reflection’s the same, but I don’t know who I am And that’s her plan She waits for me At the table with an empty plate Expectantly welcomes me in I can’t help it, I feed her now If this is her home, I should just accept it I’ll let her win, I decided Chorus When she comes right in I’m green with…  Envy is on my mind, she comes and goes When I see through her green eyes, they won’t close She’s my reflection somedays  But I just pay her no mind She’ll go away with time
5.
I gave him two keys in case he lost one  I gave him my word, I've been all in since day one No doubt of my intentions, no, my heart isn’t shy From scribbled love notes to cursive in the sky He is never on time, but I’m glad that I waited He is wise in his ways, and yet, understated Like music, his love is measured by the space But silence, to me, feels like running in place He says he loves me… But only shows it half the time I'd never let love flicker If the choice were only mine I'd turn the flame up quicker But there he is surrendering  To what he can't control And now he's being cool  He's going with the flow How little I know When he can't make up his mind, he disappears for days And all that he leaves behind is a mysterious haze I guess hibernation isn't just for the bears Once in a blue moon should be enough to know he cares Proof that he loves me But then he's in the wind First sign of stormy weather And I'm in the dark again Tryin' to pull myself together He knows who he is And where he wants to go Me, I'm more concerned With what I need than what I owe How little I know I could feel his goodbye before over was spoken Still I can’t talk myself out of being heartbroken  There was always the chance that I would end up getting burned But one drop of pain is two drops lesson learned He said he loved me… So, if ignorance is bliss This is heaven I suppose Cause I don't understand, And that's the way it goes

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released June 28, 2018

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Justina Shandler Los Angeles, California

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